Squiffy, The Syrian Refugee
She's a Syrian refugee who needs help getting £2 million across to the UK. Thank God she somehow found my email address, I'm well good at that sort of thing.
World of Warcraft: Give Me Back My Friends
Theft is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. Naturally, therefore, I couldn't stand by idly while a computer game stole my friends.
Complaining About St. Michael the Archangel
I don't like to speak ill of the dead. Especially the holy ones. But this guy has one job, and he's failing to do it at all. The Catholic Church should clearly be controlling their saints better.
HMRC: Stop Stealing Money From Me
Back in 2007, I discovered a company named HMRC was taking money from my salary before I even received my payslip. This was very confusing, as I had never given consent for this to happen.
Love At First Write
Nothing makes me trust a complete stranger more than when they contact me out of the blue and promise me lots of money.
Beef In My Horse Meat
The 2013 horse meat scandal made me seriously concerned that there might be some beef in my horse meat. Luckily, ASDA were on hand to clarify the situation.
Plastic Surgery Query
When your wife desperately needs a facelift but refuses to get one, you need to get creative.
Vegetarian Prawns?
They're prawn flavoured crisps, with no artificial flavouring, but are suitable for vegetarians. Sounds a bit fishy to me...
Weather Complaint
The summer of 2007 in the UK consisted of lots of water falling from the sky. Action had to be taken.
This site is a compilation of evidence to support my case that I do, in fact, waste an awful lot of my life doing useless crap, mainly with the intention of confusing and annoying other people for no good reason.
You are welcome to waste your time reading some of this useless rubbish, but please be warned I will not be able to return any of your lost time if you do so. Unless you take me to court and they rule in your favour, in which case I might do.
That's me in the picture above. Worryingly, it's not a sketch, that's a high def photo. My face is actually made of pencil markings.
© 2014 Ben Jameson
Are you really reading this? Don't. I purposely made it very small so you wouldn't.